unloved

I always thought, in all honestly that if anyone gave me the time of day, I’d be easy to fall in love with. 

My biggest fear these days has been that I don’t know if anyone has the patience to give me the time of the day. To push through and climb the walls, to look into my soul and take the time to see everything. To ask questions, to look into my eyes, and to create such a strong bond of trust that we could fall into each other’s arms with no worries of the ground. 

I think I’m a person that’s easy to love once you know me, but what if nobody wants to give up the time to get to know me? 

First impressions matter they say. But what if I’m not a first impression? What if who I am takes time to see? 

These days however, I guess my heart just can’t take it anymore to try. Because despite all fears, I let people get to know me, I try to break down walls and quite literally bear it all. “Give it another go” they say, “it’ll happen when you least expect it”. But the thing is, and I really swear I’m not being dramatic on this one, but it never seems to be enough. They never stay, and they never, not once feel what I always hope and imagine they would feel. 

Perhaps the greatest irony of all is that the girl who wants to be loved so bad is unloveable.