love continued

[warning- procrastination rambles ahead}

I feel like my life revolves around this notion of love I have fathomed. I hold it up as this immensely powerful thing I one day dream of obtaining. I see it as not imperative to life, but imperative to living. Is a life without love even worth living?

The thing is though, I'm not talking about that family, friendship, platonic love. The love that the movies stress to you is the real important thing. Trust me, I understand its importance- it offers something nothing else will. But, I'm talking about the romantic, head-over-heels, dangerously beautiful love that consumes you, yet fuels every inch of your body.

I'm well aware that many exit this love crushed, hearts bruised, life turned upside down. It can end badly, but so can anything else. There's something about the notion of love, of having someone pick you out of all the others in the world. There's something about being someone's someone, of being wanted and cherished that makes me feel so drawn to the concept. It's not even about having the fairy-tale encounter, or those movie moments, it's about the way that being in love makes you feel. 

There are notions of love which makes it daunting, and don't be fooled for I am terrified of finding it. Yet, I'm more terrified of not finding it at all. I'm terrified of being fooled into love, of falling into a love which is not returned or loosing it completely. Whilst I would never wish to suffer through heartbreak, I also understand that every heartbreak is another step closer to finding that one person, the person who will complete you.

It's all a bit ironic that I'm so drawn to a concept I have never experienced. Yet, whether it is the influence of society- television and the media, I don't regret it. I want to be someone who has someone. Whilst it is cheesy and over-said I want to find a person who I look at everyday and my heart still flutters.

Whether it is that summer fling or forever, I just want to have it, have love.

I'll explore the world and myself, I'll experience life as much as I can and jump at every opportunity. Who knows, maybe I'll live without it for a while, or I'll encounter it much soon. I don't know when it will come for I don't think love is a thing that can be forced, yet I only look forward to the day I find it.

OG