unknown letters #1: conform

I've decided to start a new series called 'unknown letters'. Basically, it will entail a number of posts, or 'digital letters' written by me, to whomever; someone in particular or a broad group. This series is a voice for all those, including myself, who find it incredibly hard to speak up, even though they are on the brink of the words. Such way of writing provides an indirect way to get the message across to chosen directed readers and like per-usual, share my thoughts and perspective.


To those people who conform themselves, 

Why? Simply put it that is what I wonder when I see your actions, words or even movements. Why try so hard and go out of your way to not be yourself?

I notice you. I notice that flicker of the 'real you' when you talk about your passion and the underlying urge you have to say your feelings. I notice when you push away your talents as it isn't cool to 'be good'. I notice you disregard you school life to go to meaningless parties and post blurry photos. I notice you as you laugh off your bad grades, knowing deep down how far you have fallen. I notice the times you exaggerate, or downplay your experiences, just to fit in or seem acceptable.

You can buy all the new 'trends', you can waste your money on things you know you hate, you can laugh at jokes that aren't funny and not stand up for what you believe in. Go on, continue to live this unfulfilling life, attempting to please others and be considered acceptable, or even admired by others.

When you are left with nobody else to follow, when all the trends are over and when all have gone their separate ways, what will you do? You will have spent so long conforming to everyone else, you will have lost all sense of who you are, what you enjoy and what you are good at. Your past talents will have faded, lost their shine and you will be left with a dull memory of the life you've lived.

The teenage life you considered so important, the life you changed to fit in or appear normal and 'cool', *news flash*, that life will be gone. Everything changes, time moves on and if you continue to aim to be this person, you aren't going to go far.

I notice the fear you hide. The fear that people will know who you truly are, the fear that controls you to be like others, say what they say, and try so desperately to become like them. You may not even know you have this fear, you may even be so clueless to think this is the way you are, this is the real you. You may argue "I'm just growing up", but I know, I've sat silently, nod appropriately and watched you change.

I remember who you were. I remember how unique and amazing you were. I admired you. Not for your clothes, bedroom or social life. I admired you for your kindness, intelligence, dedication and your sense of who you were. I understand you were pushed down by others, and society pressured you to live a certain life, or be a certain way. But as soon as you allowed to be pushed around, to let go of who you were, I stopped admiring you.

Once you got a taste of this life, you were hooked. I saw your happiness as you felt accepted and admired by others, abandoning the sense of who you were. A part of me felt it was my fault, that you had to conform as you didn't feel comfortable in your own skin, and maybe I was to blame. However, now I understand you made the discussion, pushed or not, you took the step. Right now your in a daze, I can see it in every move you make. You're caught up in a whirlwind of being what you 'should' be, mentally and physically.

Honestly, I hope you can pull yourself out of this mess and not completely let go of who you were. You were such an amazing person, however doubt got the better of you. You changed yourself for others and to be liked. You created an obsession with looking and feeling perfect, normal and goal-worthy. However, I am fed up of these type of people, the person you have become. I don't want to deal with fake people in my life and I refuse to allow your decisions to impact me.

OG