reflection

// wrote this entry before the new year dawned. it is more of a personal ramble rather than inspirational insight but I decided to post it nevertheless. happy new year everyone, I wish you all a fresh, clear and bright beginning x //

The year is closing, a new year is approaching. A single month stands between me and a 'new life', a 'new year', a 'new me' (well that's what I tell myself at least).

2018 has been a lot, to sum it up in 'plain Jane language'. It was a whole lot of a lot. first year out of high school, first year tasting independence and adulthood. In a way it was like I expected it to be- nothing I expected. It was a year of adapting and changing, stumbling and learning.

Originally I was going to write about how hard this year was, how I became submerged into a routine, loosing perception of who I was and what I wanted to do. Indeed I even wrote snippets, titling 2018 as "a blur of nothingness and everything in a complete mess, tied with a ribbon".

Indeed, I spent a lot of the year lost, even though most of the time I didn't know it. I was lost in my own mind and world around me, constantly moving, doing and working. I focused a lot on others, what they wanted and how I could help them.

This last month of 2018 has left me a lot of the time in my own thoughts, reflecting on what I want to achieve and the type of person I want to become. My body and mind have spent the year tired, weighed down by others, negativity and quite frankly, just wasted effort on people who don't matter.

Hence, with a new year approaching, I scrapped the idea of complaining about my yearly troubles in a post, instead opting to try encourage the 2019 positive attitude I wanted to endorse, writing about looking back, being grateful and setting new goals. With that said, here it is, a messy summary of the year that was.


This year I learned a lot about friendship. I learned how hard it is to make true connections, became more aware of how fortunate I was to be surrounded by the true friends I had and have begun to learn that it's okay for friendships to not work out. I've learned that friendship shouldn't be one way, or a relationship in which people feel the need to change who they are. It's okay for people to change, and it's okay for friendships to fade. Pettiness, gossip and drama is pointless and adds unnecessary stress and negativity.

I learned a lot about myself. I still have no idea in the world who I am, what I want to do and who I want to be but I've learned that I need to give myself more time to focus and uncover that. I need to take time out to breathe, to relax and recover, to just live simply. I love surrounding myself with others and helping, but at the end of the day, my life should be the priority.

I've learned that taking risks is the only way that change will happen. Routine is comfort and whilst not necessarily a bad thing, it's easy to just continue along a path which is steady and smooth. Taking risks makes life interesting, allows you to feel discomfort and learn things about yourself which would have previously stayed hidden.


2018 was truly a year in which I learned a lot, a lot of different (big and small) things that can quite possibly not all be summed up in a single entry.

For the year that is approaching, I hope for myself to continue to learn, to continue to grow and to continue to work towards living a life I love. An insight into my goals include prioritising and focusing on myself, my career and my health, as well as conquering the fear of risks, and other people's opinions.

Whilst some may argue that the strike of midnight affects nothing but a number, a change in digits and date, for me and arguable many others, it is a new chapter, a new page in the book of life that is fresh and clean, ready for words to be scribbled upon it. it is a new path to stumble upon, a new story to tell and a new year to live.

I wish every one of you a year which is bright, filled with you executing your dreams, overcoming boundaries and living life to the fullest.


- O