change

I started writing this post quite a while ago and it's been sitting in my drafts for a significant amount of time. I keep coming back to it, writing in a couple of sentences, saving and exiting. I guess I never quite knew how to bring it all together, writing fragments about this and that, here and there. The notion of change is so big that there are so many ways you can talk about it, so many paths you can take, and to be honest, I just wanted to write about them all.


This week I changed something in my life. Something which had become apart of me over the past few years and honestly helped me become who I am today.

I'm going to write quite generally, for I don't really want to get into all nitty gritty. However, it was emotional to say the least, and I think that's why I did it all so quickly and suddenly.

It's hard leaving a place which has become a comfort for you and I think no matter when, it's always going to be hard.

The strange thing was that after, I was terrified, absolutely a wreck and consumed with doubts and fears. I know its normal for this to happen but one of my biggest flaws is my inability to stop overthinking. My mind is pretty much one that rarely rests, always considering consequences, outcomes and possibilities. When you were in primary school, everyone always told you to think before you did something. Perhaps I grasped onto that concept a bit too wholeheartedly.

Change is always hard, and brings out the worst of my overthinking for like most people, I stress at not knowing what is ahead, for being blinded about the future.

We all react differently to change, with most of us being fearful of it, or seeing it as a bad thing. I think that in this instance, I knew deep down that I was doing was right and that's why I did it. Whilst my body immediately reacted with fear and sadness, I also later on felt a bit of excitement and giddiness at finally taking a leap, being a bit reckless and just not doing what everyone expected.

/ /

I've been thinking a bit and in reality, no matter your attitude towards it, change is a notion of life that even with the harshest force, cannot be denied. For even in denying it, you yourself have the opened up a possibility of change. 

Although I am, and I think always will be a little bit fearful of change, I’ve still always viewed it as not something that was ‘bad’, but rather a combination of pros and cons, in which ultimately, pro overrules. 

But why is the world so bi-polar about change?

In some cases, we perceive change as a bad thing. We immediately see someone doing something different to their usual and suddenly they are labelled them as 'not being themselves', or 'copying another'. We have this attitude in which we judge, instead of being welcoming towards others who want to edit, switch up or change something about themselves. Why is a person changing a bad thing?

In contrast, we hate on others and pressure them into become something they are not, forcing our ideologies and opinions upon them to suit ourselves. I don't understand why we continue to live and accept our society as one which isn't accepting and one which pressures others to conform and change to appeal those around them.


Change isn't a bad thing. It's just apart of life, something that happens. If I learnt anything this week it's that change is undeniably hard and we all struggle to accept it. However, perhaps there’s wonder in the fact that it isn’t so easy to welcome. I mean, maybe the hardest things are the most worthwhile.

I absolutely adored and loved my life before I leapt towards change and I am eternally grateful for what that part of my life was able to give me. However, we all have to move on and I guess I just knew it was my time.

Endless love to everyone and I wish change upon you all

OG