wallflowers

I'm not popular. I'm not cool. I'm not an outcast. I'm just there.

We see the movies about the popular mean girls, we see the inspirational stories about how the outcasts learn their worth. We see the jocks, the drama geeks, the cheerleaders and the skateboarders. We've see the stereotypes left, right and centre. You see I'm the sort of person which you never hear about. I'm not in the movies, I'm not on the shows. I'm just that somewhat uninspiring, boring, average person.

I don't sit at the back of the classroom, or the front. I'm never involved in any of the gossip myself, but I know about it. I smile at people in the hallways, I talk to those who approach me, but I won't initiate conversation if I don't have to. I find it hard to make friends, but I still have them.

For so long I wanted to be in that group. Come on, you all know who I'm talking about. Wherever you go, there always seems to be one. Although they are all different, there is always one. Ranging from the designer clothed, to the indie hip, they all have that same aura- they know who they are, they know they are that group.

I tried to convince myself otherwise but like pretty much everyone who isn't in the group, I wanted to be. I wanted to feel that sense of worth. My personality was far from it but in many ways I just wanted a taste, a sliver of living the life of danger, drinking and strolling the streets at night. To me, they seemed to have that teenager glow, one I never truly saw in myself. I always heard them complaining about what I assumed was their perfect lives. Yet, even their troubles seemed to glisten, becoming a path of experience and growth.Although they faced similar troubles to myself, such as the ever growing stresses of school, they seemed like they were truly living, partying, falling in love and just enjoying being reckless.

I always used to wonder what it felt like to be in that group. Do those people, the people who seem to be so in control and 'cool' want to live a life like me? I doubted it but perhaps they want to be 'normal' (whatever that is), wish for a boring life of good grades and no trouble. Maybe they were sick of taking risks, spending endless nights getting drunk and always falling out of love. I mean its questionable that no matter who you are, you always want to be some one else, to be something you are not.

I think we can all learn something from that group, whoever they are. Whether they teach us what we don't want to be, or inspire us to be more care-free, although we may not be them, we are not that different from them.

It sucks that society doesn't portray the normal, showcase people like me, who are uninteresting, don't have boyfriends and are just as encompassed by the world as those with the stories. However, that's the world we live in, a world fuelled on entertainment, labels and placing people in groups.

OG