side comments

Unfortunately, I have a list. A list of all the things I dislike about myself, permanently stuck on the walls in my head, a constant reminder. Everyday is a fight, a contest to over rule the negative thoughts.

Some days it can feel like everything is against us; our bodies too large, almost bulging out of our clothes. One can get pushed down, overcome with doubt and hatred, anger and sadness, the poison fighting to enter our bodies, never surrendering. Other times I smile at the girl in the reflection, pushing back my rusty shoulders, out of their concave position, shaking off the cobwebs.  We fight, stand tall and push against the thoughts, the negativity. It's hard, but it always is, this is life isn't it?

We learn to live with the constant thoughts, the bad and good days, the struggles. However, when the thoughts are voiced, voiced through what I call, side comments, everything is reversed.

Every little thing, the mantras and positivity you feed yourself, dissipates the minute someone opens their mouth and spits out the poison. It doesn't matter if it starts with a "no offence", or ends with a "I was just joking", every word hurts. A joke or comment about a laugh, look, saying, body part, anything at all, it all impacts the person, even if unintentional.

I've stood by and seen those ashamed of their body hair because one word was uttered, I've seen people wriggle uncomfortably once 'some being' stated their thoughts irrelevant, or declared them 'bossy' or 'a know it all'. We've all seen it, whether you consider it okay or not. 

As well as being a witness, I can truthfully say I've been the victim, feeling self-conscious and doubtful all because of a 'side comment'. It is honestly ludicrous how somebody's view, whether it be fleeting or untruthful, can have such effects on a person, putting them through mental, or even physical turmoil.

There are always moments of regret, words we wish to reverse and memories desired to disperse. There are always mistakes that will be made however, awareness needs to be brought to such errors and where possible, corrections reinforced. The mental stability of mankind is at stake; our self-esteem slowly being brought further down by minuscule and worthless side comments!

In retrospect, please, for the life of me, think before you speak and refer from negativity and side comments in general.

Thank you

OG

all photos sourced from tumblr